Flossin’
Posted: February 4, 2012 Filed under: Nonfiction, Science, Writing | Tags: Baird's tapir, mental_floss, science writing Leave a commentIt’s been a while since I’ve written for mental_floss magazine, but now we’re reunited, and feels so good.
11 Insane Features of the Normal Human Anatomy
6 Extremely Rare National Animals
12 Violinists Known for Something Else
Three from the future*:
11 Notes on Alfred W. Lawson, Founder of the Weirdest University Ever
Thomas Edison’s Eccentric Job Interview Questions — A Cheat Sheet
12 Underappreciated (But Equally Precious) Bodily Fluids
And one from the vault:
When Propaganda Backfires (reprinted on neatorama)
Look for my commissioned piece on the Berenstain Bears in next month’s paper issue. And more blogs like these *EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.
…All Things Considered.
Posted: November 30, 2011 Filed under: Performance, Radio, Storytelling | Tags: All Things Considered, audio, eating water, ghost, MPR, NPR, OWS, radio, Thanksgiving Leave a commentThat is, “I managed to perform some of my own stuff on the radio and it came out pretty okay, all things considered.” Also, I had a couple commentaries on Minnesota Public Radio: All Things Considered.
You can listen to the first commentary, about Halloween, etc., right here:
You can read an extended version, here.
My second commentary fell on Thanksgiving, which was appropriate. If you want to know why, read it here.
I guess I’m their Holiday gal. Let’s see what I can rustle up for National “Stay at Home Because You’re Well Day,” tomorrow. Or not.
Published in Two Languages
Posted: August 5, 2011 Filed under: Nonfiction, Writing | Tags: book, Italian, published, storytelling Leave a commentAs of May, 2011, yours truly has been published in a real, hold-in-your-hands, paper-and-binding book, which has been translated into ONE language other than English. Guess which one. Italian. You nailed it.
The book in question is titled A While Back: Sarà stato il succo di carota (It Was the Carrot Juice), and was authored primarily by one Mr. Clark Sandford, who, in addition to being an engaging storyteller, talented actor, skilled carpenter, and former fisherman/longshoreman/ferry boater/chiropterist, is also an awesome dad. I should know.
The book contains 20 chapters of real* stories from Mr. Sandford’s colorful 50+ years on Earth, and due to his colloquial, perhaps “cowboy-esque” style of storytelling, English professor Jodi Sandford of the University of Perugia thought that the collection would be a perfect tool with which to teach Italian students American English the way Americans speak it. And A While Back was born.
My participation in the project began over 27 years ago when I was born, and, as such, became a character in Mr. Sandford’s repertoire of tall tales. Some time later, after he started writing his stories down, he would often email them to me for my opinion. On a few occasions, I wrote back more than he had bargained for: a disagreement with his recollection of events, an additional remembrance, a verbose, daughterly opinion. Several of my participatory replies are included in the collection as well, and that, my pretties, is the deal with this book. It’s now in its sixth printing, by Morlacchi Editions.
*Mr. Sandford explains, of each piece, “This story is presented as neither fact nor truth. It’s just the way I remember it.”
Why Dolphins Are Badass: A Semi-Academic Talk
Posted: May 6, 2011 Filed under: Comedy, Nonfiction, Performance, Science, Speaking Leave a commentGive & Take is a community experiment that breaks down barriers among disciplines, people, and ignorance vs. knowledge. …The perfect platform for a scientifically minded humorist (or comically minded scientist) to talk about their super-weird niche expertise.
My topic of choice: The Noble Dolphin. More specifically: Why the dolphin deserves better than the corny, new age symbol of playful peacenickery it has come to represent, and is actually a complex, highly intelligent, and utterly badass beast.
The presentation was a success, and reinvigorated my belief that people both love learning about dolphins (as well as other big-brained mammals and cetaceans) and know relatively little about them. Look out, World. You’re about to learn way more about dolphin behavior than you even though you knew you wanted to but DID.

The audience of “cetaceans” uses color-coordinated note cards to indicate how many of them are “dolphin species.”

I quiz the audience on their knowledge of dolphin behavior, aided by “Blue Dolphin,” ninja warrior/top scholar.
Up with People, Down with Mosquitoes.
Posted: April 26, 2011 Filed under: Comedy, Copywriting, Science 2 CommentsHere’s a post I wrote on the subject of World Malaria Day, as a partnership between the United Nations Foundation, Nothing But Nets, and Comedy Central. I don’t mind telling you, the United Nations* was quoted as saying, “This is a fantastic post!”
Read more by clicking that link, above, or the picture below.
It is serious, yet funny. Like life. Which is precious.
*Or more specifically, someone who works at the UN Foundation.
Copywriting for the Finns
Posted: April 25, 2011 Filed under: Copywriting, Screenwriting Leave a commentAs you may have gathered, I write copy, among other things.
Here is a corporate video I wrote for Nokia, earlier this year. (For you yanks reading this post, remember Nokia’s headquarters are in Finland, so there may be a few items which feel lost in translation. Don’t worry, I think you’ll find them. After all, the world is shrinking as we speak. And the universe expanding…? Oh dear…)
Just look at those statistics, frozen in time, like so much dandelion fluff…
The Half-Dog Story, in Full.
Posted: April 21, 2011 Filed under: Comedy, Fiction, Writing | Tags: gutty-works, half dog, King Solomon, Paper Darts, Sheba, short story 1 CommentRemember when I mentioned that story in Paper Darts’ 3rd Issue, called “Sheba”…? Why here it is now.
And here I am reading it, on “Radio Dispatch with John & Molly” (29:10)
Like, Totally a Sports Writer
Posted: April 19, 2011 Filed under: Comedy, Nonfiction, Writing | Tags: baseball, facial hair, Onion A.V. Club, The Great '80s Leave a comment
The National Onion./A.V. Club gave a nod to my piece on the epic 1987 Twins’ epic Facial Hair, so I thought I would too.
UPDATE: AV Club Twin Cities’ links currently down. Replacement links coming soon.
New Agey B.S.
Posted: April 19, 2011 Filed under: Comedy, Copywriting, Screenwriting, Writing Leave a commentIt is the end of an era.
For a good while now, I have been writing horoscopes for the masses at Comedy Central’s mobile site. We called it Uncle Louie’s Crystal Balls. As of a few months ago, Uncle Louie went out of business, but you can still visit him and his fellow astrologers Suzanne Mekulvic and P. Perp the Prophet Talker, frozen in time, because the internet is forever.
The upside: now that Uncle Louie’s LLC is no more, you can get our back stock of horoscopes (previously only available via a subscription with T-mobile), upon request! By which I mean I can show you writing samples of them, informally and without compensation. Here are a few. There are literally thousands more where that came from.
The second upside…? I’m still writing quizzes for Comedy Central (among other things), doing my part to keep productivity down across the United States and Canada. Here’s one. And here’s one. Oh, here’s another one.
Go forth, into truth and not into ignorance.








